Dickens Would Understand

This week has been such an emotional roller coaster. Charles Dickens really nailed it with that whole "Best of times, worst of times" quote. From trying to nurse a beloved cat back from going towards the light to a daughter landing a flip she's been working on for a year there hasn't been time for "usual" is all the tips or the pits.

And still time moves forward.

The movers come in 2 days. Gulp! I am so behind. I haven't packaged all the stuff in zip-locks, I haven't rewashed everything, and I haven't emptied the water bed or sorted the books.

I did however get the cat to perk up enough to want to eat a few bites and I did get the car in for a battery and oil change. So at least I can pull the car out of the garage for the packers.

Funny story about the oil.

When I got to WalMart I had to sign a waiver before they would change it. Apparently it was so low it didn't register on the dipstick.

Where did the oil go?

The car has been parked in the garage for 5 months. I'll admit one time I backed it out unto the drive way for 30 minutes. I swear that was the only time it left the garage.

No oil on the drive way, none in the garage. Did the oil gremlin come and suck it out? How the heck do you lose 4 quarts of oil? I am got VERY thankful I made it to WalMart and the car is still (HOPEFULLY!) OK.

Cat-alive.
Car-running.
House-disaster.

Well two out of three ain't bad. And who knows, maybe I'll get very motivated over the next two days.

Quit laughing, it could happen. Probably not, but if I guzzle enough Frappacino's you never know what could happen. And if the house doesn't get organized, well at least I'll have a nice buzz and won't care so much.

Saying Goodbye

I have been very blessed to have possibly the world's sweetest cat for 14 years. Barney is just about the perfect pet. He is unfailing mellow, tolerant, and always friendly. His nickname is "the big gold rug." True to this name, all he wants to do is lie in your lap;petting is good but optional. He just wants to be close to you.

I have always said that I would never subject pets to extraordinary measures. I feed them premium food and make sure they get all their check-ups but that is it. When their time is up, I always felt that a humane death was the last great gift you give a beloved pet.

Until now.

Now I face Barney having a serious but somewhat treatable disease. He is diabetic. Turns out that all those years feeding him premium kibble may not have been in his best interest. More and more vets now say that wet food is best. High protein and low carb. Now they tell me.

Doesn't help much.

I'm not sure if keeping him alive now is in his best interest or mine. How do you draw the line? I had to put one cat to sleep because he had a fatal heart birth defect. Even though it tore my heart to tiny shreds that choice was clear cut. Science had nothing to offer. I had to just cuddle him as he licked my hand and died.

Barney isn't so clear cut. I mean he's an elderly cat but he's basically healthy. Mostly. He doesn't have some giant heart problem or tumor that I could say, "ok, pal, it's the end of the line."

All this because there isn't enough going on in our life right now.

I guess it's a good thing I have that expensive nursing education. I understand the disease process and the basic treatment. I know how to check blood sugars and give insulin shots. Sure, I've never checked a blood sugar on a cat's ear, but if I can do a squirmy kid I ought to be able to manage a 10 pound cat. Maybe.

The truly hard part is knowing wether treating him is really for his benefit or mine. I don't know if it's the right thing to do. Would it be better to just let him slip off to sleep? Is wanting to keep him the ultimate selfish act? Maybe if Hubs was home I would have some more perspective and balance. But for the last 6 months I have fallen asleep stroking Barney's soft fur. For some reason I never worried about noises so much as long as Barney was lying next to me.

Not that the Rug was at all a "watch cat." He is helpful only because if there is really a noise he will run and I will have warning. But aside from the fact that he is a chicken, there is just something comforting about not being alone.

So please pray for Barney and pray that I find the wisdom to do what's really best for him. He's been a very good friend, he deserves that at least.

Great Deal...or Expensive Lesson

Because this upcoming move is happening in three parts it requires some complex logistical planning. Planning that is sure to give a relaxed, laid back, fly by the seat of your pants type gal, such as moi, severe acid reflux.

I have started munching on Tums so much that I am frequently spotting a chalky mustache. Yum, yum.

Here is the basic plan: packers move everything we own to OH. We stay in FL. We sell house. We stay in FL for another 4 weeks. Then we go to a family reunion en route to OH where we then stay on base until we can find a house. Simple, right?

This is the point where my eyes bug out and I start to drool. It requires no less then 5 different temporary lodging reservations. No potential for disaster there, right? Oh yeah, and we are traveling with cats so it's not like we can just check into any old hotel in case of disaster.

35 nights adds up to quite the hotel bill. Ever on the look out for a thrifty deal, I decided there had to be some option a little cheaper than paying for a Motel 8 for over a month. Not to mention living in a hotel room with 2 kids and 2 cats leaves something to be desired given Hubby's anticipated reunion.

This led me to my first mistake: Craigslist.

Let us all sigh in unison about my stupidity.

I should preface this by saying: yes, I have heard all the horror stories. I know people who have gotten burned big time. So, YES, I should know better. But really, when has that ever slowed me down?

So I found a killer deal. We can rent a condo on the beach with 2 bedrooms, pets approved, for less than the cost of staying in the cruddy TLF on base.

If it sounds too good to be true...

I promise I won't say I wasn't warned. Still, I did everything I could think of to make sure it is a legit deal. I saw the place. I got a contract in writing. I verified the owner's existence with the building maintenance association, and I checked him out with the BBB.

BUT.

There is always a but, isn't there? He demanded payment in full ahead of check in via money order. So, full of hope that I have found an honest person, I mailed the money today. I'll let you know if I just paid a huge stupid tax.

Please try not to start the wager in my hearing...I'm fragile enough as it is.

Oh NO!

It is hitting me that in less than 2 weeks total strangers are going to be privy to really every aspect of my life.

Wow. I feel sick.

If you have never moved, or at least never done a military move, you may not appreciate what it entails.

Imagine a swarm of locusts falling from the sky and covering your entire house at once. That pretty much sums it up. A large group of total strangers arrives and takes everything you own and wraps it up for you. It is inventoried and carted away.

My inventory will look something like this:

Dust Dragons (we are waaaaaay past the bunny stage) 219
boxes of useless junk 698
Cartons of books 20
Boxes of clothes 8
Boxes of brand new (but dusty) kitchen gadgets 5
Dishes/pots/pans 2
Rusty work out gear 4
Stuff for creative projects/mostly untouched 2
Stuff I need to do but haven't 95
Stuff I don't need but have 43
Stuff the Goodwill rejected 3


Does the thought of a stranger packing your "unmentionables" give you the heebie-jeebies? It might bother me except I have so much more embarrassing stuff that in comparison my underwear is pretty boring. They will probably find a growing Mt Nancy of dust under the bed.

I should pass out gloves and dust masks when they walk in the door. Some of this stuff has sat unmoved for 5 years. I just pray dust is the worst they find. But it probably won't be.

I have friends who wash everything, sort, separate, organize and pre-pack. Ironic, because they are not the sort of people who would have dust-dragons hiding in the corners, anyway. Bloody overachievers screwing up the curve, is more like it.

I will just bite my tongue and hope for the best. Well that and pray like all get out that we never move back here and I never have to see these people again. Just add another state to the growing list of "places I don't want to be seen again."

Maybe I'll clean before they come. Better yet, maybe a hurricane will strike my house and just blow the dust away. It could happen--God works in mysterious ways!

Have you ever?

Paid for a kid's monthly activities using nothing bigger than a $1 bill? I'm pretty sure her coach wondered if I was taking a second job that involves skimpy clothes and pole dancing. Ha! Bet that gave him nightmares for a while!

Repossessed your own kid's iPod? I had to lock myself in the bathroom for an hour afterward so they wouldn't see me cry, but better they learn the lesson now than when their car gets towed away. Real banks require collateral, interest, and enforce consequences. Now If I can just figure out how to use the dumb thing!

Served ice cream for dinner? After two weeks of meals that were designed to empty out the fridge and freezer the kids were very nervous about the menu. (In hindsight, topping very old fish with nacho cheese and blueberries might not have been my best culinary idea ever.) They only come to the table grudgingly. So imagine their faces when I told them they had to empty out the cartoons. No putting "left-overs" back. What's the point being a mom if you can't toss out the rules every now and then? Maybe that will be one moving memory they look back on and smile about.

Considered burning down the house just to avoid cleaning out the garage? Trust me, it's not as extreme as it sounds.

Looked through an old cedar chest and started to cry when you found tiny little baby booties?

Made a promise that you would never collect ANYTHING ever again?

Suspected you might be under secret surveillance to determine if you qualify for the "Buried Alive" hoarding show?

Realized how many memories can accrue in 15 years of marriage? Looking over pictures, scrap books, baby clothes, and assorted sports stuff makes me see all over again how blessed we are and how fortunate I am that I married Prince Charming. I always thought in the stories that the princess had to kiss the Frog. Turns out it is the other way around. Good thing he's near-sighted...I still can't believe he picked me, warts and all. I love ya Babe.

Fired UP!

Wow! I need to start the day with a jolt of caffeine more often! No wonder people drink this stuff. I got a ton of junk done...and I'm feeling pretty dang good.

Yahooooooo!

The moving blues are history. I took a note from a blog I like and decided to "Eat the frog" first. I don't know that the person who coined this phrase is southern but I have my suspicions.

Yum, yum, tasty little buggers.

I decided that the jobs that were really stressing me out were:
1. take down the play set
2. renew RN license
3. Get the DOD to TALK TO ME, PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE WITH EXTRA CHERRIES ON TOP.
4. Organize books for next year

These are the biggest things that have been worrying me and causing general loss of sleep. So when I got up today I was determined to get them done. NO MATTER WHAT! I was ruthless.

I started by finding a handyman to take apart the monster play set in the back yard. I had planned to do that with my sister (thanks Sis!)but further considering the current heat, my general lack of tools or even the basic knowledge of how to use said tools, and I realized this was not a good place to save a buck. Better to shell out some money and then watch a poor guy give himself heat stroke while I sipped a cool beverage from my air conditioned house. Money well spent.

Next up I started calling everybody and their cousin at the DOD who in any way was related to the poor person handling the sale of our house. After 3 weeks of begging my rep to pretty please return my messages I got mean. I called the boss's boss and started there. I even threatened to pull rank. Totally hilarious because I have none and Hubs has some but probably not enough to scare anybody there. Still, I had two things in my favor: the obnoxious persistent squeaky whiner gets the oil and the law of the jungle. I roared the loudest and they figured it was easier to answer than ignore me. For now.

Of course they tried the usual blocking technique of calling just before the deadline and then throwing it back in my court with a crazy suspense. I had to have 5 obscure documents back to them by close of business (about 2pm) today or the whole deal would get postponed. They figured they were safe. Nobody could possibly get all that junk in time. They figured WRONG. Thanks to a super Realtor (I Love ya Toni!) it was there muy pronto. Take that suckers!

Next up-- time to renew my license. This meant facing 24 hours worth of boring continuing education. Ugh. There is just no way to get the contact hours without either spending money or suffering terminal boredom or both. I scoured the internet for the best deal that met the requirements and locked myself in the den. It was every bit as bad as I thought but I just chomped away on that frog (is it just me or is this metaphor so beyond disgusting???) and knocked it out. It helped that the bathroom (and chocolate!) were on the other side of the door. I had to study fast to get some relief.

Last project today was to take all the books we will need for school next year and put them in a box so I can make sure the movers DO NOT pack them. They aren't particularly neat but they are done.

Watch out frogs...ready or not here I come! Mama had a big diet coke; you better run for your disgusting slimy lives!

Basic Apathy

Do you ever get the blahs? You know the feeling-- that you even though you have a gazillion things to do you'd rather just curl up with a good book and maybe fall asleep?

Or eat a giant pile of alcohol soaked chocolate.

I have so many things I need to be working on but for some reason I have absolutely ZERO motivation.

Maybe it's starting to hit me.

You see we have lived her too long. Five years is just too long to stay in a place and then not stay. Wow, that was amazingly not coherent. But it is also true. I have friends here. I have awesome neighbors. I have a support network. People actually put up with me here! I know where all the stores are.

Oh no. It's happened. No matter how hard I fought it, I put down roots. Even though I knew when we moved here that it probably wasn't "forever" I let this place get under my skin. The people here are so friendly and we have managed to worm our way into people's lives and now I REALLY am scared to move. How will I home school when I can't call my mentor every time I hit a snag? What person will be willing to watch my cats? Who will call me just to say hi and tell me a joke when I'm bored, or stressed, or lonely?

I painted the walls! I picked a color and for the first time I actually started to make the house home.

Once again we have to pack up and walk away from everybody we have come to care so much about. We were strangers in a strange land and we fell in love with Southern hospitality. Maybe not the humidity or the fast food drive through windows so much, but the charm, grace, compassion, strength, and sincerity are hard to resist. So in honor of all my southern friends here are the

Top ten Southern things I'll miss up north:
10. Red Dirt
9. Interesting Road kill. You just don't see things like possums and armadillos and vultures up there except in the zoo!
8. The powder sugar beaches. But I guess we'll all be missing that.
7. Knowing that every neighbor is armed. If a revolution comes, y'all are prepared!
6. How everybody is so friendly--people smile and wave when they cut you off
5. Wearing shorts in November
4. My neighbors
3. Southern Courtesy
2. Southern Hospitality
1. All y'all who have touched my heart. I'll be bawling the whole way north, I expect.