I Feel So Cheap

I have sold out. I allowed myself to be used in such a cheesy way I am embarrassed to even admit it. But as a Catholic I know confession is good for the soul. So here is the shameful truth out there in the electronic universe for all (well both of my readers!) to see.

Forgive me, I've been VERY lonely---try not to judge me too harshly.

I actually...watched Oprah today. There I said it, let the cards fall where they may.

I can't stand the woman and detest almost all of the things she stands for. I find her arrogant, obsequious, condescending, and not even mildly amusing which should carry a mandatory prison sentence in one who so forcefully inserts herself into so many aspects of life.

And yet, at 4pm today, I literally canceled actual plans to sit in front of my TV. Oh, honesty is a bitter tonic!

Why, you ask? What possible topic could make me override all of my principles like a hot knife through Jello? Dare I confess? I sold my principles for a chance to glimpse perfect 6 pack abs. Oh yes, it is just that cheap and tawdry. It wasn't a riveting Nobel laureate (well OK, most of them are bogus!) or a frank social issue discussion. Oh no. It was just a twenty year old flashing a sexy white smile and his ever so scrumptious pecs.

In my defense, I'm almost, er, somewhat, positive Mr. Lautner is of legal age and further he clearly gets paid very well to let women ogle him, but still. Oprah? Plus, most of the show was her usual annoying interview crap (or rubbish as Robert-sexy-British-accent-on-demand-Pattinson would say.) There were just a few shots of the aforementioned pecs. I am left feeling more than a little dirty and oh so very used. I think I might be a pervert. I have a crush on the same guy my 12 year old daughter likes. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

The only pathetic excuse I can offer is-- I have always had a serious pec fascination and he does have a VERY tasty set. Plus, I am a total sucker for the "happily-ever-after" romance ala Twilight. I have always hoped Scarlett would get back together with Rhett and that every ending will be a Disney ending. (It's OK to have scary villains as long as everybody rides off into a sunset with a prince at the end!)

Well that, and Hubs has been gone a VERRRRRRRY long time.