Da Blues

I don't know if it's my impending birthday, or just the fact that I've always marched to a different drummer, but lately I feel more like I'm playing in a whole different band. I'm trying to waltz to Lawrence Welk while everybody else gyrates to rap music. I never intended to grow old gracefully. I mean I can't do ANYTHING gracefully so why start with that? I don't want to be an old foogie either but sometimes I feel like I just got left behind the times because, man, I just don't get people.

Let me preface my tirade by saying if you made an alphabetical listing of sins I might be able to plead innocent on a couple letters, but not many. I have done, or wanted to do, almost all of them. I am no paragon of virtue. In fact, I'm sure I serve as a warning much more than an example. Sure I've grown and I'm trying harder now but there was a whole period in high school when I created an entirely different world to live in. I'm embarrassed to say I elevated lying beyond "art form" to "borderline psychosis." The only meager defense I can offer is that even while I was doing it, I knew it was wrong. It didn't stop me, or even slow me down much, but I did feel guilty and eventually felt so guilty I had to stop.

So I understand the occasional thrill of floating a whopper. Even though my audience might have bought my lies hook, line, and stinker, I at least would have failed a lie detector test. So maybe I shouldn't throw stones since I've spent more than my fair share of time living in glass houses but I have to say I'm appalled by the casual way people regard honesty today. It isn't an age thing either because it seems to run through 'em all. I hardly ever hear people talking about what "should" be done, just what "can" be done. In other words the burden of honesty is on the victim. The argument goes like this: finder's keepers. Or, if they didn't want people to do it than they should have stopped them.

This particularly bother me in the coupon world. I adore getting freebies and the thrill of the hunt for bargains is a captivating hobby. But I can't cheat. To me that ruins the whole thing. It makes it stealing, in fact. If something says "one per household" than it doesn't matter whether I CAN do the deal more than once, I WON'T because that is cheating. This seems to be a minority opinion. Which also explains a lot about our current system of government I suppose. We have an entire country of people looking for what they can do rather than what should be done. People say they would never steal from their neighbors but high taxes on the wealthy are OK. How is that any different? If the coupon says "valid on any men's body wash" then I wouldn't try and use it on "women's body wash". Maybe the poor checker would accept it but the store will not get reimbursed for it and I just stole it. Now maybe I didn't know and it was an accident...OK then it's not a sin perhaps but come on people, how hard is it to read 3 words? "One per household" is pretty self-explanatory as well. So while I applaud the cutthroat world of serious bargain shopping I hope everybody takes the time to play fair. I mean, would you really sell your soul for a free bottle of shampoo? Exaggeration? Maybe. But I know this...every lie makes the next one easier. How do you know where St. Peter is going to draw the line? I for one hope that if I get booted from the pearly gates it isn't over something that stupid. Play hard people, but play fair.