A Fresh Start

What is it about Jan 1st that makes us want to make all sort of rash promises? We rush to say we will kick all bad habits, lose weight, be better people and so on. Of course quite a few of these promises are made under the influence of certain intoxicating beverages which might explain the whole phenomenon.

Or does it? What is it about the start of a new year that makes us want to change everything?

Maybe it is simply the excuse we need to take stock in our lives and change the direction if we don't like where we are headed. So what things are on your hit list? Lose weight tops the charts for a lot of people. It goes hand in hand with eat better and exercise more. Whatever the current vogue definition of "eat better" entails. Remember the grapefruit diet?

Quit smoking is also a favorite.

For me, this year I would like to make an effort to do things well. That is to be picky enough not to take on so many projects that nothing gets done until the last minute when a haphazard rush is all that there is time for. I want to say no more, so that when I say yes, I really mean it.

Not that my kids would agree, but saying "no" is not easy for me. I have a natural inclination to want to do everything. Which translates into doing a lot of nothing because I am so overwhelmed.

It also means that I found myself in all manner of stupid dangerous places in college. It also means I constantly settle for things that aren't right because I can't speak up and say things aren't right. This led to a disastrous hair-don't on my wedding (call me crazy but I had dreamed of being a princess, NOT mafia princess straight out of the Corleone family!!!!)

How can you be assertive without getting the teeth knocked out of your head? It is a fine line to walk to stand up for yourself without alienating every person you come into contact with. I confess I am so scared of confrontation I live by the tip big, smile, and hope for the best rule. When that doesn't work I resort to "whine and complain to Hubby, no tip, and never go back" plan. Which is fine if you are dealing with something that has replacements. Not a huge help in a one restaurant-one beauty shop-one doctor shop town.

To be fair, I was looking for an excuse to not go back to the doctor. I mean really, who wants to be grocery shoppingand bump carts with someone only to realize that person has been up close and personal with parts that usually require wedding rings...(or at least dinner and a movie!) to gain access to. I mean I doubt even Ms. Manners knows what to say in such circumstances. I didn't know whether I wanted to be recognized or not!

Anyway, this year, aside from shopping in a different grocery store than my gynecologist, I want to learn how to be assertive. In a polite way.