How a Dream Becomes a Nightmare

In spite of the bacteria's best efforts we all made it onto the ship and sailed on the "Maiden Voyage" of the Disney Dream.

It would have been better if we had been too sick to board.

This is not a thought that should ever occur to me but it is true. If we had been denied boarding, the insurance policy would have kicked in and we would have received a refund. At the time I would have been devastated, but in hind sight, it would have been best. You see, the voyage pretty much failed to meet every expectation we had.

This was not our first Disney cruise, but our 5th. Prior to this one, every cruise has been perfectly magical. In fact easily the best vacations we've ever had and the main reason we bought into the Disney Vacation Club. So it is fair to say we had high expectations for this cruise. Or course, knowing the ship is new. we expected some glitches, but we never dreamed it would be what it was.

I had envisioned champagne bottle breaking on hull, and perhaps some celebrity special performances. Apparently this is not what "maiden voyage" means. I found out it means "any one of a series of cruises that cost way more and provide way less." Go figure.

Oh, more more key thing it means: CALLING ALL COLLECTOR NUT BALLS!!!!

The freaks were out in force. Oh, not your average friendly freaks-you know-my people- but people who will steal brass plates out of an elevator, walk off with dinner plates in their handbags, and spend most of their vacation standing in line to buy junk they plan on selling on Ebay. These people would mow over small kids to get a pin they don't even want to keep. The ship of Dreams, all right. Dreaming of feeding those people to the sharks!

Aside from poorly trained staff and minor ship malfunctions, there are two things that were actually pretty funny. That is, they will be funny to other people. Not so much to us at the time. The first is that we went into the very fancy spa and laid around in the hot tubs, steam rooms and showers. Or we would have if the hot tubs hadn't been broken. I tried the tropical thunderstorm shower. The lights flashed. Birds squawked, thunder rumbled and tropical flowers seemed to be blooming in the air. It was very realistic. Then the water came on in a FREEZING COLD TORRENT right onto my head. I bet they heard my indignant shrieks three decks lower. Whatever was wrong with the hot tubs was also wrong with the showers.

The other thing involved room service. One of the many perks to a cruise vacation is 24hr complimentary room service. A very nice touch if you don't want to get up early, or want to enjoy breakfast on your balcony, or whatever. I, however, was hard pressed to remember all those lovely details when we got a 6am wake up call informing us room service was on the way--this on the one sleep in day!

We had not ordered any room service.

I am not at my best when I am tired. Or according to hubs I may, or may not, bear a superficial similarity to Attila The Hun. Hmmm. There is a titch of truth there.

Anyway, we very grumpily went back to bed cursing crossed phone lines, only to have a crew member start pounding on the door at 6:30 delivering the meal we hadn't ordered and then had attempted to cancel. A+ for persistence, guys! F--- for the ability to catch up on much needed sleep!

Of course it wasn't all bad, there was even "some good." All I can say, is that in a year, the ship will be spectacular. I just wish we had waited. Sometimes the early bird doesn't get the worm; sometimes the early bird learns a costly lesson.