Hubs made a comment today about how everything in life was bad at least according to this blog.
Au contraire! But the little part that is bad does seem to be funnier than the vast majority that is good, eh? I mean who wants to read about how the cake recipe I invented was heavenly and how I treated myself to a spa day, or that in spite of our (OK-MY) phobias, dancing is coming along nicely. I mean cue the Disney music and watch the cat break into a dance with the neighborhood squirrels, right? Who wants to read that the kids did school with no fussing and I had time to scrub the house and finish all the "honey-do" jobs?
Well, sure, Hubs would like to read that because it would be such a HUGE FREAKIN' CHANGE!
The whole truth is that I have it very, very good. Hubs usually keeps his Prince Charming uniform in the closet (because I don't iron probably)but even without it, it doesn't take long to know that he is in fact our hero. Not just for the big stuff like totally undeserved luxury gifts, paying all bills, and supporting us so well. Sure he does all that. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. He is amazing in so many small ways too. Like the fact that he likes taking the kids to the park to fly kites or hike or just chase them on the playground. He taught them to fish and ride bikes, and takes them on every ride at the amusement parks, even the ones he hates. He makes late night runs for emergency provisions. (Chocolate.) He got me dance lessons and goes with me! He rushes home to get rid of dead mice and assorted icky things. He volunteers to coach teams. He attends all sporting events. He reads all 700 drafts of my book and always says nice things.
He puts up with me.
He says "I love you."
He doesn't fuss about the budget when we have a bad day and dinner isn't ready and we eat out. He laughs at my jokes. He is in fact my very best friend.
So as far as what's right in my life, Honey, I'd say it all stems from you.
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Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Did you ever.....?
Did you ever have a fight with someone that seemed critically important and absolutely asinine at the same exact moment? Maybe it's just me, it certainly wouldn't be the first time I was shorted a few neurons.
It all started innocently enough. Doesn't all trouble start that way? Is it too much to ask the all Trouble come properly labeled? I mean, look, cigarettes warn you that smoking them will cause everything bad to happen to you, but people light up every day. Surely Trouble would stay in business just fine, even "in this slow economy" but at least we'd see it coming.
I digress. Oh yeah, see we were cleaning up the office which was the last main depository of miscellaneous crapola mixed with certain critical documents thus requiring us to hand sift the debris-- page by bloody page. Tedious would have been an improvement. But we were in spitting distance of done when for some reason we started to bicker. What was an almost playful tussle became an all out, no holds barred, go for the guts war. Of course this is a figurative description. No actual maiming took place except of course to feelings and pride.
When the battle was over and bodies were strewn in every direction all I could think was, did I win?
And if I did win, did I win?
Because no way in Hades am I gonna apologize unless I'm at least mostly sure that I won.
Ha! I bet you thought this was gonna be some sunny kiss and make up and everything is all better post, eh?
Don't you know me better than that yet?
It all started innocently enough. Doesn't all trouble start that way? Is it too much to ask the all Trouble come properly labeled? I mean, look, cigarettes warn you that smoking them will cause everything bad to happen to you, but people light up every day. Surely Trouble would stay in business just fine, even "in this slow economy" but at least we'd see it coming.
I digress. Oh yeah, see we were cleaning up the office which was the last main depository of miscellaneous crapola mixed with certain critical documents thus requiring us to hand sift the debris-- page by bloody page. Tedious would have been an improvement. But we were in spitting distance of done when for some reason we started to bicker. What was an almost playful tussle became an all out, no holds barred, go for the guts war. Of course this is a figurative description. No actual maiming took place except of course to feelings and pride.
When the battle was over and bodies were strewn in every direction all I could think was, did I win?
And if I did win, did I win?
Because no way in Hades am I gonna apologize unless I'm at least mostly sure that I won.
Ha! I bet you thought this was gonna be some sunny kiss and make up and everything is all better post, eh?
Don't you know me better than that yet?
A Fresh Start
What is it about Jan 1st that makes us want to make all sort of rash promises? We rush to say we will kick all bad habits, lose weight, be better people and so on. Of course quite a few of these promises are made under the influence of certain intoxicating beverages which might explain the whole phenomenon.
Or does it? What is it about the start of a new year that makes us want to change everything?
Maybe it is simply the excuse we need to take stock in our lives and change the direction if we don't like where we are headed. So what things are on your hit list? Lose weight tops the charts for a lot of people. It goes hand in hand with eat better and exercise more. Whatever the current vogue definition of "eat better" entails. Remember the grapefruit diet?
Quit smoking is also a favorite.
For me, this year I would like to make an effort to do things well. That is to be picky enough not to take on so many projects that nothing gets done until the last minute when a haphazard rush is all that there is time for. I want to say no more, so that when I say yes, I really mean it.
Not that my kids would agree, but saying "no" is not easy for me. I have a natural inclination to want to do everything. Which translates into doing a lot of nothing because I am so overwhelmed.
It also means that I found myself in all manner of stupid dangerous places in college. It also means I constantly settle for things that aren't right because I can't speak up and say things aren't right. This led to a disastrous hair-don't on my wedding (call me crazy but I had dreamed of being a princess, NOT mafia princess straight out of the Corleone family!!!!)
How can you be assertive without getting the teeth knocked out of your head? It is a fine line to walk to stand up for yourself without alienating every person you come into contact with. I confess I am so scared of confrontation I live by the tip big, smile, and hope for the best rule. When that doesn't work I resort to "whine and complain to Hubby, no tip, and never go back" plan. Which is fine if you are dealing with something that has replacements. Not a huge help in a one restaurant-one beauty shop-one doctor shop town.
To be fair, I was looking for an excuse to not go back to the doctor. I mean really, who wants to be grocery shoppingand bump carts with someone only to realize that person has been up close and personal with parts that usually require wedding rings...(or at least dinner and a movie!) to gain access to. I mean I doubt even Ms. Manners knows what to say in such circumstances. I didn't know whether I wanted to be recognized or not!
Anyway, this year, aside from shopping in a different grocery store than my gynecologist, I want to learn how to be assertive. In a polite way.
Or does it? What is it about the start of a new year that makes us want to change everything?
Maybe it is simply the excuse we need to take stock in our lives and change the direction if we don't like where we are headed. So what things are on your hit list? Lose weight tops the charts for a lot of people. It goes hand in hand with eat better and exercise more. Whatever the current vogue definition of "eat better" entails. Remember the grapefruit diet?
Quit smoking is also a favorite.
For me, this year I would like to make an effort to do things well. That is to be picky enough not to take on so many projects that nothing gets done until the last minute when a haphazard rush is all that there is time for. I want to say no more, so that when I say yes, I really mean it.
Not that my kids would agree, but saying "no" is not easy for me. I have a natural inclination to want to do everything. Which translates into doing a lot of nothing because I am so overwhelmed.
It also means that I found myself in all manner of stupid dangerous places in college. It also means I constantly settle for things that aren't right because I can't speak up and say things aren't right. This led to a disastrous hair-don't on my wedding (call me crazy but I had dreamed of being a princess, NOT mafia princess straight out of the Corleone family!!!!)
How can you be assertive without getting the teeth knocked out of your head? It is a fine line to walk to stand up for yourself without alienating every person you come into contact with. I confess I am so scared of confrontation I live by the tip big, smile, and hope for the best rule. When that doesn't work I resort to "whine and complain to Hubby, no tip, and never go back" plan. Which is fine if you are dealing with something that has replacements. Not a huge help in a one restaurant-one beauty shop-one doctor shop town.
To be fair, I was looking for an excuse to not go back to the doctor. I mean really, who wants to be grocery shoppingand bump carts with someone only to realize that person has been up close and personal with parts that usually require wedding rings...(or at least dinner and a movie!) to gain access to. I mean I doubt even Ms. Manners knows what to say in such circumstances. I didn't know whether I wanted to be recognized or not!
Anyway, this year, aside from shopping in a different grocery store than my gynecologist, I want to learn how to be assertive. In a polite way.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
How a Dream Becomes a Nightmare
In spite of the bacteria's best efforts we all made it onto the ship and sailed on the "Maiden Voyage" of the Disney Dream.
It would have been better if we had been too sick to board.
This is not a thought that should ever occur to me but it is true. If we had been denied boarding, the insurance policy would have kicked in and we would have received a refund. At the time I would have been devastated, but in hind sight, it would have been best. You see, the voyage pretty much failed to meet every expectation we had.
This was not our first Disney cruise, but our 5th. Prior to this one, every cruise has been perfectly magical. In fact easily the best vacations we've ever had and the main reason we bought into the Disney Vacation Club. So it is fair to say we had high expectations for this cruise. Or course, knowing the ship is new. we expected some glitches, but we never dreamed it would be what it was.
I had envisioned champagne bottle breaking on hull, and perhaps some celebrity special performances. Apparently this is not what "maiden voyage" means. I found out it means "any one of a series of cruises that cost way more and provide way less." Go figure.
Oh, more more key thing it means: CALLING ALL COLLECTOR NUT BALLS!!!!
The freaks were out in force. Oh, not your average friendly freaks-you know-my people- but people who will steal brass plates out of an elevator, walk off with dinner plates in their handbags, and spend most of their vacation standing in line to buy junk they plan on selling on Ebay. These people would mow over small kids to get a pin they don't even want to keep. The ship of Dreams, all right. Dreaming of feeding those people to the sharks!
Aside from poorly trained staff and minor ship malfunctions, there are two things that were actually pretty funny. That is, they will be funny to other people. Not so much to us at the time. The first is that we went into the very fancy spa and laid around in the hot tubs, steam rooms and showers. Or we would have if the hot tubs hadn't been broken. I tried the tropical thunderstorm shower. The lights flashed. Birds squawked, thunder rumbled and tropical flowers seemed to be blooming in the air. It was very realistic. Then the water came on in a FREEZING COLD TORRENT right onto my head. I bet they heard my indignant shrieks three decks lower. Whatever was wrong with the hot tubs was also wrong with the showers.
The other thing involved room service. One of the many perks to a cruise vacation is 24hr complimentary room service. A very nice touch if you don't want to get up early, or want to enjoy breakfast on your balcony, or whatever. I, however, was hard pressed to remember all those lovely details when we got a 6am wake up call informing us room service was on the way--this on the one sleep in day!
We had not ordered any room service.
I am not at my best when I am tired. Or according to hubs I may, or may not, bear a superficial similarity to Attila The Hun. Hmmm. There is a titch of truth there.
Anyway, we very grumpily went back to bed cursing crossed phone lines, only to have a crew member start pounding on the door at 6:30 delivering the meal we hadn't ordered and then had attempted to cancel. A+ for persistence, guys! F--- for the ability to catch up on much needed sleep!
Of course it wasn't all bad, there was even "some good." All I can say, is that in a year, the ship will be spectacular. I just wish we had waited. Sometimes the early bird doesn't get the worm; sometimes the early bird learns a costly lesson.
It would have been better if we had been too sick to board.
This is not a thought that should ever occur to me but it is true. If we had been denied boarding, the insurance policy would have kicked in and we would have received a refund. At the time I would have been devastated, but in hind sight, it would have been best. You see, the voyage pretty much failed to meet every expectation we had.
This was not our first Disney cruise, but our 5th. Prior to this one, every cruise has been perfectly magical. In fact easily the best vacations we've ever had and the main reason we bought into the Disney Vacation Club. So it is fair to say we had high expectations for this cruise. Or course, knowing the ship is new. we expected some glitches, but we never dreamed it would be what it was.
I had envisioned champagne bottle breaking on hull, and perhaps some celebrity special performances. Apparently this is not what "maiden voyage" means. I found out it means "any one of a series of cruises that cost way more and provide way less." Go figure.
Oh, more more key thing it means: CALLING ALL COLLECTOR NUT BALLS!!!!
The freaks were out in force. Oh, not your average friendly freaks-you know-my people- but people who will steal brass plates out of an elevator, walk off with dinner plates in their handbags, and spend most of their vacation standing in line to buy junk they plan on selling on Ebay. These people would mow over small kids to get a pin they don't even want to keep. The ship of Dreams, all right. Dreaming of feeding those people to the sharks!
Aside from poorly trained staff and minor ship malfunctions, there are two things that were actually pretty funny. That is, they will be funny to other people. Not so much to us at the time. The first is that we went into the very fancy spa and laid around in the hot tubs, steam rooms and showers. Or we would have if the hot tubs hadn't been broken. I tried the tropical thunderstorm shower. The lights flashed. Birds squawked, thunder rumbled and tropical flowers seemed to be blooming in the air. It was very realistic. Then the water came on in a FREEZING COLD TORRENT right onto my head. I bet they heard my indignant shrieks three decks lower. Whatever was wrong with the hot tubs was also wrong with the showers.
The other thing involved room service. One of the many perks to a cruise vacation is 24hr complimentary room service. A very nice touch if you don't want to get up early, or want to enjoy breakfast on your balcony, or whatever. I, however, was hard pressed to remember all those lovely details when we got a 6am wake up call informing us room service was on the way--this on the one sleep in day!
We had not ordered any room service.
I am not at my best when I am tired. Or according to hubs I may, or may not, bear a superficial similarity to Attila The Hun. Hmmm. There is a titch of truth there.
Anyway, we very grumpily went back to bed cursing crossed phone lines, only to have a crew member start pounding on the door at 6:30 delivering the meal we hadn't ordered and then had attempted to cancel. A+ for persistence, guys! F--- for the ability to catch up on much needed sleep!
Of course it wasn't all bad, there was even "some good." All I can say, is that in a year, the ship will be spectacular. I just wish we had waited. Sometimes the early bird doesn't get the worm; sometimes the early bird learns a costly lesson.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Ship of Dreams
We just got home from spending a week in Orlando. We spent 4 days covering Sea World and Universal Studios and then boarded the new Disney Ship Dream.
Funny story about that. My last post was about how crazy I was trying to keep us all from getting sick.
It didn't work.
The motel we stayed at in Orlando was a no-frills place. Perfectly adequate for crashing at night after an exhausting day trekking around theme parks, but not a lot of bells and whistles. We knew this when we booked it, so we were happy with it. It included a bare bones continental breakfast which even saved a bit of cash. The pool was closed but given unseasonably cold weather we didn't care. It did however have one HUGE bonus we didn't expect.
It was next door to a hospital.
So at least when we had to take a kid to the ER we didn't have to call a cab. I was terrified that we would not be allowed on board the ship if kids were hacking up lungs as they had the same upper respiratory bronchitis crap that Hubs had. Luckily, thanks to the miracle of Zithromax he had recovered nicely. (Not before he spewed germs on the rest of us...but that's another post.) I knew if she and I were sick it was only a matter of time before D1 came down with it as well. Sadly, now that antibiotics are harder to get than most street drugs, no doctor will give you a prescription for a healthy kid even when you KNOW that in four days they won't be healthy. The day when you will be on a ship in the middle of the FREAKIN' OCEAN FAR FROM THE DOCTOR YOU WANT TO KICK IN THE SHINS!
It was time for desperate measures. I told D2 that when the doctor asked if she could swallow pills she was--under penalty of no desserts on the ship--to say she couldn't. I hoped there would be enough liquid left over for the other kid.
Yeah, I KNOW you're not supposed to do that. But honestly, with an entire vacation on the line? Sharing antibiotics wasn't gonna cost me much sleep in the guilt department.
Apparently they have learned that trick in the ghetto hospital because there was enough for her 5 doses and not one blessed drop more. I mean, for heaven's sake, we're talking an antibiotic here, not crack! It's not like I was going to lick the bottle! Sure I was planning on cheating, but still! The nerve!
Don't judge me. We had been planning this cruise for THREE YEARS and there was no way a sinus infection was going to stop us.
Stay tuned for the next post: Why I wish we had skipped the ER after all...
Funny story about that. My last post was about how crazy I was trying to keep us all from getting sick.
It didn't work.
The motel we stayed at in Orlando was a no-frills place. Perfectly adequate for crashing at night after an exhausting day trekking around theme parks, but not a lot of bells and whistles. We knew this when we booked it, so we were happy with it. It included a bare bones continental breakfast which even saved a bit of cash. The pool was closed but given unseasonably cold weather we didn't care. It did however have one HUGE bonus we didn't expect.
It was next door to a hospital.
So at least when we had to take a kid to the ER we didn't have to call a cab. I was terrified that we would not be allowed on board the ship if kids were hacking up lungs as they had the same upper respiratory bronchitis crap that Hubs had. Luckily, thanks to the miracle of Zithromax he had recovered nicely. (Not before he spewed germs on the rest of us...but that's another post.) I knew if she and I were sick it was only a matter of time before D1 came down with it as well. Sadly, now that antibiotics are harder to get than most street drugs, no doctor will give you a prescription for a healthy kid even when you KNOW that in four days they won't be healthy. The day when you will be on a ship in the middle of the FREAKIN' OCEAN FAR FROM THE DOCTOR YOU WANT TO KICK IN THE SHINS!
It was time for desperate measures. I told D2 that when the doctor asked if she could swallow pills she was--under penalty of no desserts on the ship--to say she couldn't. I hoped there would be enough liquid left over for the other kid.
Yeah, I KNOW you're not supposed to do that. But honestly, with an entire vacation on the line? Sharing antibiotics wasn't gonna cost me much sleep in the guilt department.
Apparently they have learned that trick in the ghetto hospital because there was enough for her 5 doses and not one blessed drop more. I mean, for heaven's sake, we're talking an antibiotic here, not crack! It's not like I was going to lick the bottle! Sure I was planning on cheating, but still! The nerve!
Don't judge me. We had been planning this cruise for THREE YEARS and there was no way a sinus infection was going to stop us.
Stay tuned for the next post: Why I wish we had skipped the ER after all...
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