Ask your father to feed you...

A good friend of mine is in the middle of a nasty divorce. (Really, is there any other kind?)Since we both have kids that play for the same school I recently watched her and her soon to be Ex.

First they were in different parts of the field, causing their kids to run back and forth between camps like civil war scouts. Since this lovely character building athletic event took place in near arctic conditions, well Florida's version there of, I listened to her debate whether they both had to be there. Her debate weighed the merits of parental support versus freezing your tuckus off in drizzle. I mean get real what parent actually enjoys standing around waiting hours just to see their own kid for 2.7 minutes?

Anyway, she was worried about leaving because her kids already see dad as the hero---it doesn't matter who leaves first apparently, just who can afford to continue cable TV service. This whole debate broke my heart. What sort of society do we live in where kids have to decide who is the better parent and their every small action is taken as proof for one side or the other? Especially since kids can usually be counted on to serve their own best interests.

It makes me very glad to know that no matter how much I screw up the raising of my own children, at least I never pit them against their father or ask them to take sides. This is a good thing since I am positive both hubs and I would come out the losers in a battle against the kids. I know divorce is common, it carries no social stigma any longer, and all parties are free to seek "personal happiness" now, but I wonder if maybe as a society we ought to rethink our position on this issue.

After all, if you don't have a dedicated partner in the child rearing gig, most likely you will have to attend every cold drearily raining game yourself and you won't just be able to flip for it like nice intact families do.