Finding God at 10,000 feet

Our flight to MN was best described as "boring", but the return fight was a whole 'nother kettle of fish. First, we had no date set. I was to wait for a call from Captain Chad and he would tell me what day we were going. Three days after I thought we were going...still no word. I couldn't stand the pressure so I called him. He said we would go Wed, Thurs, or Friday, which ever day looked best.

This should have set off alarm bells in my head. Should have, but it didn't.

No word Tuesday night. Nothing most of Wed. Again this should have been causing some concern for me. Should have, but it didn't.

Finally Wed. night he called and said he thought maybe we could go the next day. He told me to plan to be there at 7:30 am but the time might change. Again this should have been causing some concern for me. Should have, but it didn't.

Then, when we were on our way to the airport his mom ever so casually mentioned that she hoped we made it, because he was a little concerned about the weather in IL. She then sort of chuckled. This should have been causing some MAJOR concern for me. Should have, but it didn't.

No sooner were we air born then he flipped on the radar screen and I saw the problem. The problem was a line of clouds covering most of central IL.

Oh boy.

He hastened to explain that scattered, broken clouds showing as green on the screen wouldn't be any big deal. Also we could most likely go above, around, or under any small scattered clouds.

I looked at the screen again.

"Small scattered green clouds exactly NOT like the solid line of yellow with big splotches of red clouds showing on the screen." Said I,

"Well, yeah, that's what I'm worried about," he said. I looked down. The clear landscape below was starting to be dotted with puffy white clouds. Within a few minutes the puffy clouds had lined up in unbroken rows and a few minutes after that I was looking down at a puffy solid layer of white.

I noticed he was looking down as well. Also looking ahead a lot. Also checking the radar screen about every 3 seconds. I come from a long line of Irish Catholics and I have been carefully raised to be able to ignore almost any unpleasantness, but this was pushing the limits of my deny-ability.

"OK. I'm getting that we may have to alter our plans." I said casually.

"Well, yes. We may have to just call it a game and land somewhere until the storms pass." Then he looked at me as if to gauge my panic potential, and then added, "The thing is, Friday, Sat, and Sun look worse."

Then, since I hadn't spontaneously combusted at that news he added, "better tighten your belt and make sure the kids' belts are tight. It's going to get bumpy."

I looked ahead and saw a solid tower of gray clouds looking uncomfortably like I imagine the Pearly Gates might, directly in front of us. I swallowed.

He pulled his belt a bit and I swallowed harder. I was already belted in as tight as I could pull the tabs. I pulled 'em tighter.

"Hold on! We're going to punch it!"

Oh Dear sweet Jesus, what have I done????

It was just like being on a roller coaster at Six Flags. Well, if they were 2 miles above the earth, in total dark and designed by the devil, that is.

Pretty soon the rain in the clouds started hitting the plane. This sounded just like machine gun fire. We were under attack, in the dark, 2 miles above the earth. It was a very scary ride for the next 45 minutes. Let's just leave it at that.

Thankfully nobody could hear me screaming, sobbing, and begging for Divine Intervention over the engine noise and I'm pretty sure that a Last Will and Testament made under those conditions is not valid.

A mere 4 hours of terror later and we landed for gas. I will neither confirm nor deny that I had to change my outfit. If I had the slightest idea of exactly what state that cornfield airstrip was in, I would have begged, borrowed, or committed grand theft auto to avoid getting back into the plane. Heck even jail sounded better right then. Even my daredevil younger daughter was begging for more Benedryl. That says a LOT. But since we could have been in Tennessee, Missouri, Mississippi, or Kentucky we really had no choice but to get back on. I of course said a few quick Novenas first.

The second part was a tiny bit better. Oh there were sudden plunges and a lot of bumps but this time we were flying under the clouds and we could see the ground at all times. I don't know why this was comforting, I mean falling from 3,000 feet would probably be just as fatal as 10,000 but somehow just being able to see something was comforting. We managed to land safely back in Armpit, FL and we were all pretty darn glad to be home. I know I wasn't the only one singing a couple verses of the Hallelujah Chorus.