Kids, Dogs, and Relatives...oh MY!

While we were in MN we had the great fortune to spend most of the time at the Cabin. It has changed a bit over the years but to us it will always be known as "Lund's" or "the Palace". This is to distinguish it from its closest neighbor, "the green cabin" or "the hovel." Both names are a bit quirky. Big surprise, right? See, first of all both cabins are actually now brown. True the smaller one was green for about a gazillion years, but it's brown now. Also while "hovel" is pretty accurate "palace" is fair only in comparison to "the hovel." True it now has running water that doesn't require human legs to actually "run" and when the toilet flushes, well, I'll spare you the gory details, but it now drains into an approved unit! The cabin is now an outhouse free zone! True, the kids occasionally miss the excitement of actually being encouraged by adults to pee outside, but most sane people adore the modern benefits of not getting mosquito bites on your...well, on your nether regions.

I know what you're thinking, and you're probably like me and really, really, love the place for it's rustic charm. I mean, really, how many places is making dinner interrupted only for the SNAP of a mouse trap? OK, that may not have been what you were actually thinking.

But it does have several unique features. Like the fact that one screen is peppered with holes where Pop has aimed at, and (occasionally) hit squirrels trying to cop an easy meal at his bird feeder. Speaking of birds, Nana and Pop are just a bit obsessed with our feathery friends. They have hummingbird feeders, oriole feeders, woodpecker ones, and ones for small birds, large birds, and the occasional lucky rodent. The have a dock lined with structures that resemble a birdy ghetto complete with bars on the windows and approaches limited by friendly fire. Pop has even built the world's most expensive aviary. His boat lifts used to protect his boats. Now they protect several colonies of barn swallows. The unwitting stranger may be asked to lend a hand scrubbing seagull/heron/Clydesdale poo from the end of the dock when Pop forgets to string fishing line in a pattern just slightly less dangerous than the security system in a high tech spy movie.

Aside from being the actual site where "The Birds" was filmed, the cabin also boasts boats. One is a fishing/ski boat that is Pop's pride and joy. It, of course, rarely gets used. In fact you will know your status as visitor by whether you get a ride in it or not. Mere mortals are ferried about in the other boat.

It is a pontoon, or as I like to call it, "the mini-van of the lake." It has plenty of room for people, and beer. It is comfortable, spacious, and perfect for "cruising the lake." Lest you be fooled, this involves several hours of sloooooooooowly puttering around the lake looking for one of three things: Joe Mauer, the legendary Lake Sturgeon, or "houses we wished we owned." (Listed in inverted order of importance of course.) The first is somewhat self explanatory. Now that the Twin's catcher is a reported neighbor, Mauer sightings are encouraged at all times. Interested parties may pay a nominal fee to get the full guided tour. Email me privately for details. (www.gettakenforabogusride.com)

The fish dates back to when a poor schmuck caught a trophy sturgeon but was stupid enough to catch it out of season in the witness of a DNR official. The fish went back into the lake and ever since any unusual interference on the "fish finder" sonar screen is immediately chalked up to being a "Sammy" sighting.

The last category is self evident and although the occasional brawl is started over hill vs flat, wood vs brick, and big vs digustingly huge (size does matter, go figure!) differences of opinion are mostly tolerated. However the thing about the pontoon is that it is the anti-fountain of youth. If a boat full of super-model bikini clad beauties were to board it they would instantly transform into old fogies. It just demands that people kick back, drink beer, and drive sloooooooowly. Pretty soon you are discussing the weather and asking about the best place to buy cheap laxatives. It just sucks the youth right out of you.

Of course the best part of being at the lake is indulging in slightly dangerous, reckless, adrenaline producing, screaming, deliriously good...water sports. What?! Get your mind out of the gutter! Water skiing, tubing, and now (thanks Phil!) a desire to skim the water. If you can't swim, or ski, or tube, you can always try and catch the elusive Walleye. You will probably be lucky enough to catch a huge drum and then be the butt of that day's jokes. If you can brave the bugs and critters, then you just might be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of possibly the best place on Earth. Especially if it is a night when I beat a certain someone at Trivial Pursuit. Then you see Heaven for sure.