The Lights are on But Nobody Should be Home

I drove by the house yesterday to check if I had any mail in the box that hadn't been forwarded. The lights were on and a truck was in the driveway.

Curious.

We haven't closed yet and the buyer tried to throw a curve ball with last minute renegotiation.

Oh, did I have to calm myself for a minute. Clearly this bugger has no idea who he is dealing with. Sure I have been accommodating and more than helpful. We left the house in pristine condition and I have met every stupid request of the buyer. We sold it for 1/3 of what we paid. We are very motivated.

But. We aren't stupid, all appearances to the contrary. Nothing makes me see red like somebody attempting to take advantage of my misfortune. The guy is getting the deal of a lifetime and the SOB thinks I should sweeten the pot even more.

Sort of reminds me of a story I used to read to my kids... "If you give a mouse a cookie..."

If I had written that story it would have had a different ending.

I mean enough already. At some point you call an exterminator and squash that sucker like the vermin he his.

Hard to imagine I haven't gotten the Caldecott Medal for children's lit isn't it?

This guy has rocks in his head. He's gonna tick off the seller at the last minute? Pride goeth before the fall. And revenge is a dish best served with a side of frozen shrimp hidden in an air vent.

I jest. I'd never do such a thing. Probably. But when I saw that sucker's truck sitting in the driveway of a house he doesn't yet own I would certainly call the police and report suspicious activity. That's what neighborhood watch is all about.

If I just happen to know a policeman because our kids are in cheer leading together and he promised to make the response as scary as possible...well serves the sucker right.

Good times.